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137 of 152 people found the following review helpful.
If I wrote something this bad I’d use a pseudonym, too!
By GypsyHeart
Coming from a multicultural background, I always take delight in books with regards to interracial relationships. When I happened throughout this interracial dating guide on Amazon, I thought it would make an interesting read. Bad idea.
The original warning bells sounded when I realized that there was no selective information with regards to the person behind the “Adam White” pseudonym. Who is he, and what makes him qualified to write when it comes to this subject? When an author goes beyond using a pseudonym to shield his finish identity from the reader, I can’t support but wonder what’s wrong.
As soon as I started out reading the text I was troubled by the author’s failure to follow even elementary rules of good writing. Almost each point he made was repeated, almost verbatim, in various places. He likewise employed such a fixed vocabulary that I felt I was reading a young adult novel on par with R.L. Stine’s “Goosebumps” books. Plus, he never provided any real bases for his conclusions. The entire book reads like a poorly written high school term paper.
My third major complaint was the seemingly racist and patronizing attitude the author displayed toward blacks. One bit of counsel was for black women to ignore other blacks in public and focus totally on white males to make themselves more cross-culturally appealing. Why would any self-respecting black woman want a man who only found her desirable when she distanced herself from those who shared her racial background?
Additionally, the behavings that Smith advocates appear self-destructive and self-hating–I thought the goal was to date whites, not to become white. Yet the author’s suggestions include not wearing ethnic attire so as not to appear hostile, not wearing a great deal of jewelry because that’s affiliated with “blackness,” and not talking about issues with racial overtones so as not to make white men uncomfortable. Smith likewise contributes such “gems of wisdom” as: read books with regards to interracial romances in public so whites will recognise that you are receptive, work to win a victory over the uneasiness you will surely feel at the unaccustomed circumstance of meeting blue or green eyes, and dress like the white women you know.
The only persons who will derive any gain from the info in this book are those who recognise zero in regards to white men. And if you recognise not one thing when it comes to them, what makes you want to date them anyway? Surely it’s not because you buy into the author’s contentions that most black males are either inmates or with regard to emotions immature “players” taking vantage of the “surplus” numbers of black women?
As a minority woman who has always socialized with and dated whites, I feel this book is neither applicable nor helpful for any individual who genuinely wishes to exaggerate her cultural dating horizons. Rather than living up to it is name, it never rises above being a cash making gimmick designed to take vantage of the gullible.
If you genuinely want to date interracially, the cost of this book is better expended on an evening out someplace where single white men socialize.
20 of 22 persons found the following review helpful.
Don’t waste your money…
By J. Johnson
I am an educated black woman in my mid-twenties who has been attracted to white men since puberty. I have dated both white and black men and I may tell you that there are no-good men in both races who are devoid of reputation and responsibility. There are likewise good men in both races. I was raised in a family headed by a well-educated and hard-working black man who put his children initial (and he did not marry a white woman either), so don’t think that there aren’t any decent black men out here. What is the point of reading a book full of misleading and damaging stereotypes? If you are a black woman doing better than a great deal of of your male counterparts (or whatever), you ought to be smart sufficient not to buy into stereotypes.
Why will have to I have to modify myself to attract a White man? If a white man wants someone who “acts” white (whatever that is), then they’ll get a white woman. Besides, most of the relationships I’ve seen amongst white men and black women feature black women who are comfortable with their black identity, and white men who are comfortable with his woman’s black identity. If he isn’t okay with you being connected to your black identity, then he’s not even worth your time.
Black women, if you want to date White men, that’s fine, but do it because you’re genuinely into them, not because you’re tired of Black men. This book is when it comes to resolving for White men because of “loser” black men, which feeds into the stereotype of black women as desperate. Don’t ever settle for something other than what you actually want.
77 of 95 persons found the following review helpful.
a revolting smorgasboard of racism, paternalism & stereotype
By ZB
Let me say that I’m a white man who has dated assorted black women. I read the basi chapter of this book and felt the urge to vomit. I don’t recognise what the author’s intent was but the result was a gross catalog of stereotypes. (“Black women will have to consider the financial security man white men offer” was one tidbit.)
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